Through His life, I have found mine

Easter.

We rejoice in His resurrection, and our hearts are focused on Him.

This is a time where we realize the fullness of our lives. A completeness found through Him.

I looked forward to this feeling as Easter day approached. I looked forward to my parents coming down south to visit me at school. A time where I could enjoy my parents; I hadn’t seen them since Christmas.

My mom had bought me a new dress just for the Easter service and still brought me an Easter basket, despite the fact that I was almost a Junior in college….

The day before Easter, I was cleaning my room awaiting my parents arrival when my mother called. Her voice was frantic and rushed.

And just like that my mother was rushing my dad and I to the hospital.

He gripped the edge of the car seat with such strength, his nails left indents in the cushion of the seat.

As if holding on for his life, he cried out in pain, over and over again.

My mother rushed through the canyon, beeping the horn and flashing her emergency lights on and off. No one seemed to understand the  severity of our emergency. Crossing over the double yellow lines into oncoming traffic, she tried to pass some cars.

Merging on to the freeway, his screams grew louder.

We hit 100mph, and my dad seemed to be losing consciousness.

As my father cried out to Him, I silently pleaded with God. Asking Him to take his pain away.

My mother merged into another lane almost causing an accident.

It seemed as if everything was preventing us from getting to the hospital.

Gasping for breath, my father did not seem to have any willpower left in Him. He quietly prayed, and tears flooded my eyes.

In that moment, I finally felt whole.

In a moment where my life was shattered, I felt the most complete.

Watching my father grasping for life, I understood mine.

As we finally made it to the emergency room, my mom got out of the car and helped my dad through the doors. I rushed to park the car, and broke down as I watched him leave. Running back to the emergency room, I heard my dad crying out in pain echoing the halls. I wanted to rush back there but I had to sign in stating my relationship to my father. A security guard unlocked a wide door and I rushed through the halls trying to find my father. My mother ran into me in the hallway, and held my hand. There was only one chair, so I sat down on my mothers lap. Just like when I was young. We cuddled, and memories from my childhood flooded my thoughts.

I was filled with guilt.

Away from my home while I am at college, I regret the time that I have sacrificed being away from my parents. The two people I care for the most. Guided by His hand, my parents have sacrificed everything for my sister and I, to give us the life that they could never have.

Working overtime and multiple jobs, my parents have done everything they possibly can, just to prepare my sister and I for a life that will bring happiness.

But in the process, they have forgotten theirs.

Their lives revolve around ours, and I worry that sometimes they forget to live theirs.

These past couple of years have been bitter sweet. I have to be away from them so that I can provide for them, and give them back everything they have given me. They deserve everything I earn, because without them I would be nothing.

Hopes that one day I will have a steady income, a loving family, and a house I can call my own. And I know they hope to see my hard work become a reality.

But I worry that they won’t make it. And I regret the time I spend away from them.

My dad still screams, but my mother distracts me with questions. Asking how my friends are, discussing GPA, professors, work, future goals, and how things have changed back at home.

Easter has arrived, and my parents and I attend the service as if the previous day was a faint memory.

But yesterday is still vivid in my thoughts.

Easter has become not only a reminder to remember Him, but to embrace life.

Through His life, I have found mine.

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