Will my love sustain the relationship that I have with my future spouse? This question has been dancing around my mind for quite some time. This question consumes us as that one person we can’t seem to shake overwhelms our thoughts and determines our actions.
Every step, every breath; becomes a path toward earning their love.
Our day becomes a stream of conscious determinations, heightened echoes of the heart; desperate screams for this person to realize that the person standing beside them, is all they’ll ever need. Because you believe that you can provide their happiness. And you want nothing more for them than for their life to be filled with joy, even at the expense of your own.
Which begs the question: Is there a point when love becomes a manifestation of our own deceit?
They say to have loved and lost is better than never having the opportunity to love at all. But would it not be better to have never loved, if the love that you had was seemingly composed on your behalf?
Love, while equated with a beautiful rose, is often misguided; as so many of us fail to remember that this beautiful rose holds thorns. In all of the fairytales I have seen whilst growing up, love was always manifest as three parts of an enchanting story: a spark of desire, a battle to win back the love after being forced away, and finally the love rekindled and blazing forevermore. In the second part we see that sacrifice proves to triumph over evil and love is granted. The prince risks his life to see his princess for one last moment, and ultimately sacrifice triumphs and their love never dies.
However, we often fail to realize that sacrifice must also be evident in part three in order for love to withstand the trials of life.
For many years, I have equated love with sacrifice. Biblically, sacrifice is revealed as the ultimate form of love. Love cannot exist apart from sacrifice because there is no such thing. Christ revealed this truth as His Love flowed from the cross.
However, in my younger years, my conception of sacrifice was skewed. As Jesus became the lowest of the lowest, I decided that I needed to put my desires on the back-burner and do everything in my might to insure that my loved ones were happy. When in a serious relationship for almost 4 years, I understood that love was only revealed in those times where I sacrificed myself for my partner. It wasn’t until years later that I realized my conception of sacrifice as being equal with love, was distorted. I had reduced love to a mere string of actions that put another person before myself; and in the process I was losing myself. I had sacrificed myself, my feelings, and my convictions because I knew love to be sacrifice. It was the only fitting way to ascertain that what I had with my loved one, was real. For 4 years, I had worried myself with actualizing and validating my love to the point where the “love” that I was expressing, wasn’t love at all.
Sacrifice had become my own means of creating love.
Now, 4 years later (with many lessons learned the hard way), I can profess with confidence that God is Love- sacrifice was but a facet of His Love. Love cannot be fabricated, nor can it be wished or summoned. More crucially, Love cannot be defined and understood by human standards.
Love comes quietly when you least expect it. It floods your entire mind, body, and soul; harboring a strength to view the world in a different light and prompting you to become what He intended. Above all, love only becomes true when it is a commitment professed in reverence to the One who is love.